'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the lab,
Not a creature was stirring, no corpse on the slab.
The team was excited and full of good cheer
This night was the quietest night of the year.
The lab was as dead as the usual vics.
Not a soul coming through here tonight but Saint Nick.
Yes, jolly old Santa was coming by soon.
And the lab techs were listening to swell Christmas tunes.
Greg was taking a break from his Marilyn Manson.
He even let Hodges play Christmas with Hanson.
Archie and Jackie strung tinsel and lights
Hoping to make the lab merry and bright.
Instead of their stockings, they hung rubber gloves
Suspended on hooks that came down from above.
Al and David had dressed up the morgue without flaw.
They'd asked Santa to bring a new autopsy saw,
And they wanted the place to be nice when he came.
That morgue could be creepy, but Santa was game.
Even Ecklie was festive, that difficult prick.
He was there drinking eggnog with Warrick and Nick.
Nicky loved Christmas. He was having a ball!
Maybe Santa would bring him some new luminol.
Some print powder, too, and a new brush and swabs.
He wanted to have the best tools for his job.
And Warrick just wanted more air time this season.
Wasn't he there in the lab for a reason?
Sara hung mistletoe, aiming for Gil
She'd had no luck all season. He eluded her still.
She'd kiss him for sure tonight. It was a cinch.
If she'd didn't, she'd act like that nasty old Grinch.
Catherine had left to be home with her daughter
And to look at the presents that Sam Braun had brought her.
Sara was pleased Cath was home on the range.
She might actually take center stage for a change.
Brass was off reading Dickens. It might have been rude
to ignore all the fun, but he loved that guy Scrooge.
And Gil? He was waiting for St. Nick as well.
The bug man had always thought Christmas was swell.
This year, Gris had asked Santa for a whip and a feather.
He could use them to play with his friend Lady Heather.
A clatter arose from the DNA lab!
Was that Santa so soon? Golly, that would be fab!
Santa came with his reindeer and a few of his elves.
Even Brass was excited in spite of himself.
Good old Santa brought everyone just what they wanted,
Except for poor Sara - she was left disappointed.
There was luminol, swabs, and for Greg, there was leather.
He brought powders and test tubes, and Gris got his feather.
An autopsy saw and an alternate light
Were the last of the presents this Christmas Eve night.
Santa turned from his work with his blue eyes a'gleam,
Then he took to his sleigh and he called to his team...
On Mendelsohn, Zuiker. On Watson and Crick.
On Bruckheimer, Petersen, Stahl, and on Fink.
To the top of the ratings you consistently go
You've made CSI the most watched TV show.
And they heard him call out as his sleigh disappeared,
Merry Christmas to all, and a Happy New Year!
Summary: 'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the lab... With apologies to Clemet C. Moore