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Category: CSI - General
Characters: Gil Grissom
, Nick Stokes
Genres: DrabbleWarnings: None
Nick's thoughts on "So. It's Over." And Grissom's thoughts on Nick's reaction.
beta by the wonderful jayceepat
Nick was angry. He could feel it pulsating through his veins. People could see it, if they looked him in the eye. They were pitch-black instead of brown and they only look like this when he was either really emotional or angry.
They say that the eyes are the windows of the soul and Nick's eyes mirrored his anger.
He was angry at Grissom; angry at everything, but this anger was the fuel that kept him going. It kept him from breaking down and leaving everything behind that was dear to him.
It was 6 months after his abduction that Grissom made him angry, angrier than he ever felt in his life before. Three little words, three words that haunted him ever since.
"So. It's over!"
Grissom had called him into his office during the Silvia Mullins Case. He had asked him how he was doing. If there was any problem that Kelly Gordon was a suspect. Nick declined and said that there wasn't a problem. Then he mentioned the tape.
The damn tape!
At first he felt betrayed and hurt that Grissom withhold this from him. He had the right more than anyone to know that there was another voice on that tape. As he listened to it all the memories had crashed back on him and he started to feel angry. Not only at Grissom, but at everybody else, too. Because they never asked how he was doing, they had never even mentioned his abduction once. They acted as if it never happened.
Nick knew that he wasn't thinking rationally. His friends probably thought that they were acting in his best interests. Maybe they didn't want to remember what had happened to him.
At that thought Nick started to laugh, a cold and unemotional laugh. If they thought that not mentioning it would help Nick, then they really had no clue how life works
Nick wanted to talk about what had happened to him. Of course he did talk to his psychotherapist, but it wasn't the same as speaking to a friend that he trusted and could confess to.
He felt the need to talk to his friends, but he didn't want to burden them with his problems. So he kept quiet and pretended that everything was okay when it wasn't.
He listened to the tape fighting back the urge to throw up and let Archie make a voice comparison. He realized that there was more to his abduction than just a mad mans revenge.
Then he told Grissom and was rewarded with those three fucking words.
It wasn't the fact that he had used the same words Sara had used after his Stalker Case. It wasn't the fact that he had said them so blatant as if they wouldn't destroy Nick's world.
It was the fact that he assumed that after Silvia Mullins death everything would go back to normal. And that had hurt the most and made him angry.
Grissom didn't know what he could have done to make Nick angry at him, but it saddened him that he was.
He never knew Nick to be angry; he was always the person on his team that, no matter what situation occurred, had a smile on his face to lighten up the mood.
But Nick didn't smile nowadays. Well at least not in front of him. He kept things highly professional with him, not that Nick wasn't professional before whatever angered him, but he only spoke to Grissom when he had to, never meeting his eyes. For the rest of the day he simply ignored him.
Grissom had observed Nick's behaviour towards the others. He was cold and reserved towards Sara, wary towards Greg. He was short with Warrick; still all buddy buddy, but he declined every offer of hanging out with him. He behaved almost like his old self only with Catherine and Brass.
Thinking back it all started after the Mullins case. He'd called Nick into his office because he was concerned about him. Kelly Gordon was a suspect in Nick's case. Knowing how emotional Nick could get he wanted to reassure himself that everything was okay.
When Nick walked into his office he had seen that this case was already nagging at his mental state. Nick looked tired and drained and Grissom was ready to take him off the case, if he implied that it was too much for him. But Nick was too good a professional and insisted that there was no problem. Then he mentioned the tape.
The damn tape!
Gosh, he had totally forgotten about that. Grissom knew that he must have looked completely stupid as Nick told him about that, but the revelation caught him completely unprepared.
As Nick revealed that Silvia Mullins was the second voice on that tape Grissom could only think one coherent thought. That she was now dead and therefore could never harm Nicky again.
"So. It's over!"
At least Grissom thought so, but as he looked into Nicks face he saw something shatter behind those beautiful brown eyes. Nick had struggled to keep his composure when he agreed with him. Then his eyes had become angry and he rushed out of his office.
And out of his life he added bitterly. He knew that he never showed much affection towards Nick, but he was really fond of him, he cared for and respected him more than any other person he knew. Nick had always been the member of his team that he could depend on.