Liking, Loving, Adoring by CSI Ballistics [ - ]
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Category: CSI: NY - General
Characters: None
Rating: PG
Genres: Angst, Character Study
Warnings: None

Summary: Set after 9.15 Seth and Apep. Jo Danville's personal train of thoughts.

She... was happy for him. If not, she tried to be then.

She had seen their love blossom for months now from a distance, and she had noticed Mac being happier to go home than he used to. They were cute together and obviously very 'in love', sort of like teenage love yet not. She wasn't sure what word described it the best, but that unintelligible dynamic between them really added something innocent and true.

Jo wasn't surprised to see him the way he was when he questioned Zane for information. She hadn't mentioned it, though. After all, he hadn't really made much fuss that time when she visited with John Curtis in jail himself either –– just returning the favor. Plus, she knew she would have done the same, had it been someone she loved like he loved Christine. If it had been him, for instance. She sighed.

A part of her wanted to know just how he might have behaved if it had somehow been her getting kidnapped. Something told her he would have everything to get her back alive, too. She trusted him that much, and Jo only hoped he trusted her as much... even if she knew there were matters he rather left undiscussed between them. She really hoped it wasn't a lack of trust; nothing would have been more painful to know than that.

She carefully held her hand to the small of her back and pressed a little harder there than she did usually, slightly wincing. She didn't kick in doors often, and she had been a tad taken aback earlier at the sturdiness. She must have a not-so-very good move, due to which a jolt had shot to her lower back and settled there straight away. No one there to rub it, alas. Ellie had a sleepover tonight. She gently tightened her hand.

She hadn't gotten an 'I love you' or kiss on the cheek when she dropped Ellie off that morning anymore –– she hadn't for some time actually. Of course, she had been there with Tyler at that particular age. She knew that it was a sign of puberty, of looking for independence, gradually finding their way in life, rather than Ellie not loving her anymore. Jo absolutely encouraged her children, always had, to be themselves no matter what, raising them quite openly. Still, a part of her missed the times when they needed her more. Two children had definitely kept her from ever feeling lonely in life. Like Tyler, however, Ellie was slowly beginning to come loose from home as well, bit by tiny bit, and she wasn't so sure how to feel about it.

Maybe she should consider moving over to San Francisco, to Cade, after all. It would mean a lot of changes, of course, but she knew he wouldn't mind rubbing her back if needed, would maybe do for her what Mac had that day for Christine... even if she wasn't sure she would for him right now. She did like him, but she wasn't certain that it was enough. She had loved Russ once upon a time, and that hadn't really been enough either. She, however, still adored Mac Taylor.